A No Holds Barred Review of Noah : The Movie (2014) | Watch Your Life and Doctrine Closely…

All right.

Up until yesterday, I had heard a whole lot of hype about the Noah movie and honestly, couldn’t care less. It’s a Hollywood production and, like The Passion of the Christ, I thought it would be an attempt by some biblically illiterate celebrities (for example) and a theologically lobotomized director/producer (for example) to atone for all the trash that they’ve unleashed upon the world at 24 frames per second (or now 48). There’s a huge difference between films made by Christians and films made by “Hollywood Christians” (the difference being a biblical worldview vs. an explicitly pagan worldview hiding behind re-defined biblical terminology), and I generally ignore all the “Christian/religious” media that emerges from Hollywood. To use a biblical term, films made by “Hollywood Christians” are generally moronic. (For the sake of clarity, I use the phrase “Hollywood Christians” as a catchall for everyone who would self-identify as some form of “Christian”).

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A No Holds Barred Review of Noah : The Movie (2014) | Watch Your Life and Doctrine Closely…

The midrashiest midrash that ever was midrashed. . . . . [a spoiler-free “Noah” review] | Denny Burk

Shall I tread where angels fear to tread and give an evaluation of Darren Aronofsky’s Noah movie? Well, I guess it depends on what you mean by angels. In the movie Noah, the frilly feminine harp-stroking caricatures have given way to a cross between Ben Grimm, Peter Jackson’s Ents, and Gumby. I guess we can chalk that one up to the mystery of the Nephilim. But I digress. What about the movie? Is it any good? Should Christians go and see it? Should anyone go and see it?



Before offering my opinion, I should warn you that I think Jackie Gleason’s role in Smokey and the Bandit may be the finest performance in the history of cinema. I don’t think that tells you much about Smokey and the Bandit, but it does tell you something about me and my aesthetic sensibilities. So I can’t blame you if you take these reflections with a healthy grain of salt. Caveat lector!

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The midrashiest midrash that ever was midrashed. . . . . [a spoiler-free “Noah” review] | Denny Burk